Self-Compassion - The Voice of Joy in Motherhood

“I’m so bad at connecting with my kids.”

“I’m screwing them up, I just know it.”

“They’re definitely going to need lots of therapy because of me!”

Do these kinds of thoughts sound familiar to you? They’re just a few of the gems my shame-reel likes to serve up for me in some of my hardest moments. And even though I know they’re probably coming from a place that just really cares so so deeply about my family, I can’t keep them from hijacking my brain and strangling my confidence when I’m at my lowest and most vulnerable places as a mom.

But there’s one trick that with a lot of practice and support from my own mentors, I’ve learned how to use to turn the volume down on these frequencies so I can get back to my regular (and happier mom) programming –

Self-Compassion.

Self-compassion is the practice of treating yourself with kindness, care, and understanding. It entails acknowledging your suffering and responding to it with warmth, and non-judgmental awareness. It’s also a practice of responding to yourself in a time of hurt or hardship, in the same way you would offer to a good friend or loved one who is going through a difficult time.

In both my personal journey and the work I do with mothers everyday, I have found that self-compassion is the elemental basis of a more joyful and easeful experience as a mom.

Because the journey of mothering is almost always new in some way and we are constantly having to meet challenges as a parent that we’re not yet skilled in or familiar with, the tendency toward self-criticism, low-confidence, and self-reproach is very high. But the more moms are able to build and practice their self-compassion skills, the better able they are to meet the challenges of motherhood with a more balanced perspective, and get weighed down less by their struggles along the way.

Here are a few more reasons why self-compassion is essential in motherhood –

1.         It promotes emotional well-being – By treating oneself with kindness, care, and understanding, moms can reduce their overall negative emotions and experience greater emotional well-being with a more positive outlook on life.

2.         It enhances resilience – Self-compassion can help moms cope with difficult experiences and setbacks by providing a sense of support and comfort. Practicing self-compassion allows moms to acknowledge their own suffering without being overwhelmed by it, and to bounce back more easily from their mistakes.

3.         It fosters better relationships.  Self-compassionate mothers tend to be more understanding and accepting of others, as they have a greater capacity for empathy and compassion. This can lead to stronger and more positive relationships, including as a parent to your child, with a partner, and other family.

4.         It supports personal growth and development – By acknowledging one's own imperfections and struggles, self-compassion helps moms learn from their mistakes and make positive changes in their lives that enhance their overall mood and experience.

Overall, self-compassion is an important practice for promoting mental and emotional well-being, developing resilience, and supporting personal growth for most anyone. But for new moms who especially carry the weight of self-blame and guilt on a daily basis (they might as well be strapped into the Ergo too), the practice of being kind, caring and warm with yourself is essential to lightening your load and enjoying more of the motherhood journey.

For the focused support and relational encouragement that can help you build more self-compassion and feel happier as a mom today, reach out to me – I can’t wait to help you find your most nurturing, and joyful voice!