I Am A Mother, And More
Hi, there. I’m Keely. I am more than a mom, and I’m so grateful you’re here with me. It is truly my passion and life’s work to support other moms like you. Ever since I became one myself many years ago, I’ve been on a mission to validate just how hard growing into that self as a mother can be.
Because motherhood is an impossible transformation, really. At least at first.
From those early sleepless nights that wear you down and break your spirit, through the steady loss of confidence to the relentless demands, guilt, and impossible decision making that come with parenting – those first steps are harrowing. And it is always a journey to find your way back to yourself after the transition.
The more I’ve journeyed, the clearer I’ve become why that transition is so hard for so many.
Maybe like you, I was not immune to the social pressures and cultural norms that would have us women believe we are “meant to be” a mom. And I see now too where I mistakenly believed like so many that when I finally became one, something in me would be complete. I was so sure I would feel fulfilled to just love and care for someone else of my own creation, that the effort would come naturally, and that my purpose would finally be realized.
It feels pretty naïve and a little embarrassing to me now to admit it, but that’s okay. Really, I’m just grateful for the struggle that it took to get where I am. Because today I’m finally at a place in my life where I can say how I feel, with clarity, confidence, and courage:
I love my children (so much it hurts).
I am honored that I am the one who gets to be their mother.
AND… I want more.
Because I, just like anyone, am a unique individual with so many dreams, goals, interests, and aspirations. There are so many things I feel passionate about, experiences I want to enjoy, and growth points I want to challenge in myself. And while some of these parts of me are very much related or even owing to my role as a mother, still many others have nothing at all to do with being a mom.
For one, I am a creative. I want to read, make art, write and reflect.
Also as a social worker, I am an agent of change. I want to learn, have meaningful conversations (with moms especially!), discourse on subjects that matter like social justice and relational healing, and do good in the world.
Obviously, I’m a human being too. I want to connect deeply with friends and loved ones, see new places, and experience more of humanity.
Then, well I am also just a 42 year old woman. I want to eat ice cream by myself. I want to watch crime documentaries and the occasional trash reality show. And I want to listen to music where the songs get to end, the curse words aren’t bleeped out, and there’s no mention of Taylor Swift or poop.
I want – and I am so, so, so much more than a mom.
Each and every one of these ambitions is what makes me who I am. Every part (the mother parts, and the other-than-a-mother parts) – they all make up the rich tapestry that is my individuality. I now understand now more than ever that I have to find a way to express all of them (even if not all at the same time) if I’m going to truly feel fulfilled and happier in my life.
That is why I am here, sharing this with you today. I believe the same is true for you too, especially if you find yourself feeling discouraged, directionless and resentful as a mom. It can be so powerful and healing to recognize that you are so much more than a mother, and to find your own courage to get curious about who else you want to be. Embracing all the beautiful dimensions of your identity is not only the best way to find more fulfillment in your own life, it’s the only way to feel less resentful and more joy as a mom!
So with that, I will leave you with just two questions to ask yourself as you move through the rest of your day –
- Who else besides a mom do you want to be?
- What is one small step you can take right now to begin growing more of you?
(For help unpacking your answers, reach out to me! I have 1:1 spots to help you get clearer, find the confidence to make a change, and unlock the courage to start growing more of YOU beyond motherhood).
Thank you for being here with me. It is because of YOU and all that I want for you to get to be too that I do this work.
Warmly,
Keely
*Keely Clark is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) and certified Perinatal Mental Health Specialist (PMH-C) located in Asheville, North Carolina. She has over 15 years of experience in healing work, and today specializes in supporting moms in the adjustment to parenthood, healing from relational trauma, and growing confidently into your fullest potential so you can love life and motherhood more. Keely provides online mental health therapy to residents of NC, SC and FL, and motherhood mentoring support to women and mothers everywhere.