8 Ways Moms Can Cope with ADHD

Whether grappling with "mom brain" or ADHD, self-care is absolutely paramount. Moms so often prioritize the well-being of their families over their own, and this way of neglecting their own mental and emotional needs no doubt exacerbates their struggles. Thus, taking the time for self-care, whether through mindfulness practices, exercise, or seeking support from loved ones or professional, plays a critical role in managing both "mom brain" and ADHD symptoms.

 If you are a mom struggling in the hazards of foggy cognitive conditions or possibly something more clinically significant, read on – in this piece, I’ll share more information about how ADHD affects mothers, and also some specific ways to cope with it so you can take better care of yourself!

How ADHD Affects Moms –

ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) can have a significant impact on mothers in various aspects of their lives. Moms with ADHD often struggle with planning and organizing daily tasks, like getting children ready for school, managing household chores, and sticking to a schedule – all of which lead to more feelings of frustration and inadequacy for many moms.

The stress of parenting for moms with ADHD is also often higher, as their difficulty focusing and staying organized while managing the needs of the children can lead to intensified feelings of overwhelm and inadequacy as well.

Moms with ADHD may also find themselves making impulsive decisions without fully considering the consequences, and they struggle to concentrate on one task at a time, leading to incomplete projects and a sense of being overwhelmed by the constant demands of parenting and unfinished household responsibilities.

The most common trend I see in moms with ADHD though is their increased emotional dysregulation, including mood swings and difficulty managing their emotions. Moms often experience intense emotions anyway due to the complexity of parenting, managing mom guilt, and navigating the delicate balance of your own self-care – but moms with ADHD have a particularly hard time keeping calm in the overwhelm. This frequent dysregulation can further lead to problems with strained relationships, self-esteem, or even other clinical concerns like anxiety or depressive disorders too – making it all the more essential to get proper screening and support for your symptoms if this sounds like your experience.

How to Cope If You’re a Mom with ADHD –

If you think you might be a mom experiencing ADHD (here’s a link to a site with several self-assessments if you need more proof!) – it’s helpful to know there are effective ways to cope! But the most effective coping strategies for ADHD will vary vastly from mom to mom. The best ways to cope generally do require you to adopt strategies and lifestyle changes that help you better manage the symptoms, and having a support system can be invaluable to this process.

Here are some of the most effective strategies that I see and use to support the ADHD moms I work with everyday –

1) Develop and Stick to a Routine – Establishing a consistent daily routine can provide structure and help you manage time effectively. Include specific times for waking up, meals, work or study sessions, breaks, and bedtime. A routine minimizes the uncertainty that can be overwhelming for individuals with ADHD and also cultivates a sense of predictability, which helps all your responsibilities feel more contained.

2) Break Tasks into Manageable Steps – Large tasks can be daunting and lead to procrastination or eventual forgetfulness. Break down tasks into smaller, more manageable steps, making it easier to focus and track progress, and reducing anxiety in the process.  

3) Use Tools for Organization – Leverage organizational tools to keep track of tasks, appointments, and deadlines – for example, planners, calendars, to-do lists, and reminder apps can all be especially helpful in maintaining order and preventing important details from slipping through the cracks. 

4) Practice Mindfulness and Meditation – Incorporating mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing and meditation, into your daily routine can significantly help improve focus and concentration. Regular practice can also enhance self-awareness and reduce stress, providing a valuable coping mechanism for individuals with ADHD, mom brain, or many other types of challenges.

 5) Exercise Regularly – Physical activity has been consistently shown to have positive effects on attention, hyperactivity, and impulse control. Whether it's walking, jogging, swimming, yoga, or dancing – find an activity you enjoy and establish a regular practice of prioritizing and participating in it. Physical activity not only helps manage ADHD symptoms, but it also contributes to overall well-being – you can think of it as like your daily vitamin but with much more far-reaching benefits!

6) Limit Distractions – Create an environment that minimizes distractions. This may involve organizing your home or workspace, using noise-canceling headphones while you’re engaged in a task, or even getting outside of the overwhelming environments with regular breaks from all the “noise.” Limiting external stimuli not only improves your ability to concentrate when you need to, but regular “neuro-reflective pauses” can have a valuable impact on your overall well-being too.

7) Support Yourself in Transitions – It’s hard for anyone to transition from one activity to another, and this is especially true for moms with ADHD. Consider setting up a small ritual for yourself anytime you are approaching a transition in your day – for example, closing your eyes and counting to 10, taking several sets of slow deep breaths, or just briefly pausing between activities can help your brain to better adjust to the shift.

8)  Seek Professional Support – Consider seeking professional help from a therapist, counselor, or ADHD coach, as well as a more extensive evaluation from a specialized provider. Professionals with ADHD expertise can help you more specifically examine the origin of your symptoms, and provide guidance that will help you navigate your best options and strategies for managing your challenges. Providers may potentially even recommend medication or other therapeutic interventions that will optimize your health and functioning beyond the self-care practices you may already have tried.

Conclusion –

Remember that brain fog, or even cognitive lapses can be a common part of the new parenthood experience. But it’s important to determine if you may actually have something more clinically significant happening at the root of your challenges.

Managing ADHD is a personalized journey, and what works for one mom may not work for another. Experimenting with different strategies and tailoring them to your specific needs and preferences is the best way for any mother to cope with ADHD and its impact on your life.

Remember too that ADHD does not define your capabilities as a mom, and with the right tools and support, you can navigate the challenges more effectively!

If you are a mother experiencing the overwhelm of living with ADHD, reach out to me for a free consult! I love helping moms find more joy in coping with the fog of motherhood.

Keely Clark is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) and certified Perinatal Mental Health Specialist (PMH-C) located in Asheville, North Carolina.  She has over 15 years of professional mental health experience and specializes in supporting mothers in the adjustment to parenthood, healing from relational trauma, and learning how to re-parent the self so you can love your life and motherhood more. Keely provides online mental health therapy to residents of NC, SC and FL, and relational coaching and motherhood support to all women and mothers.